Oh. [He's silent for a moment, and then rubs the back of his head.] I heard a little about that when I was a kid. I never really thought anyone did that any more.
[He is utterly surprised by that question. He was asking mostly because he wanted to know if there was anything about Metaari that wasn't like it seemed, not because of his own desires. He blinks and stares at Taas with eyebrows raised.]
It's... from an old story, really. Like many of the things the Vashoth use for love, it used to mean a close friendship under the Qun. Someone you could trust completely, who were your other half and made your place in the Qun run flawlessly. 'The better a cog the better the machine runs.'
[There's a pause.]
There are many versions of this story, but one version is about a pair of qunari who worked so well together that they could take down a dragon by themselves. When their duties changed, they split one of the dragon's teeth in two and wore that so that they were always together, no matter what. [He smiles a little bit.] Of course it was a grander story that that, but that's the gist of it.
It's the closest thing to a Qunari love token there is.
That's what Korrin told me when she was planning to give one to Araceli and what Metaari told Merrick.
[After a pause.] I teased Merrick by telling him he was basically Qunari married now, but I know that's not completely accurate. [He offers a smile there, trying to keep this conversation light.]
The thing is, neither Korrin or Metaari were raised under the Qun. They both had parents who left and formed a family. The idea of marriage and love aren't foreign to them.
[Taas looks thoughtful, trying to figure out a good way to explain this. Even after seven years, some of the things outside of the Qun was still so alien to him.]
We hear a lot of strange things about the bas when we grow up under the Qun. We hear all about how love corrupts, how it makes you forget about everything else. Love can make you stray from your place in the world, and the selfishness of destroying the whole for just one person is boggling.
As for marriage... we were taught things like the surrealism of needing papers signed by Chantry like you're buying a horse. Stories of the strangeness of forced family units, about the greed for 'heirs', or pushing a child to be an image of you while wasting their resource and talent. Something so outlandish as unwanted children.
It makes it all sound like the bas are heartless.
[He pauses, shaking his head.]
I was a soldier, kadan. They don't educate us as well bout the bas as they do with people of the priesthood.
[Taas smiles again, looking at Cyril fondly.]
I know better now. I know there's happiness and kindness and love. I get how it all works. I just didn't imagine I would feel it? Or even how to?
Zevran explained some to me, and now I think I have a better idea of love. Being with you makes me happy, and seeing you happy makes me all warm inside. It's the kind of warmth that takes pain away... old memories, old scars. They mean nothing when I see you smile, wether it's after I fucked you silly or just a glance from far away.
[For the first time in this life, Cyril has the stray and entirely mad thought that maybe things under the Qun aren't all bad. He knows he could never believe that with all of his heart though - his need to define himself is too strong - but the idea of not feeling a pressure to get married and have children has some lure to it.
He keeps that thought to himself, never once wanting to admit even a stray fantasy like that to someone he knows is still trying to find out who he is without the Qun. It's easy to look past that thought too, once Taas starts going in about his smile and how the warmth he feels when they're together helps him recover from old scars.
He moves closer, presses his body against Taas, encourages him to put an arm around his body, though he's careful to still look up so that Taas can see his lips. He isn't really able to get as sappy himself, not because he doesn't feel that strongly but because putting words to it hurts too much.]
I wouldn't mind a reminder of all of that. [He admits after a moment and it's the closest he can get to admitting the feels the same.] The Inquisition means that either of us could die or be sent away for a long time. [After all, Taas had just returned from a journey like that.] Thedas means that either of us could die at any moment.
If you end up with a dragon tooth you could even split it three ways and give one of the pieces to Zevran too.
[Soon, they would have to have a very serious discussion about Cyril's dilemma. Not today, however.
Taas still believes in a lot of the Qun's philosophies. There was no poverty under the Qun, there was classism. Everyone had a place. Everyone was valued. Yet despite all that, he would never wish them forced on his kadan.
Cyril needed his freedom.
Slipping his big arms around his lover, the big qunari him pulls closer when prompted. Watching those beautiful lips, he reads what is said and nods softly. He could agree with it, really. They could die at any moment.
The whole of Thedas could be swallowed up by a crazed darkspawn and his pet archdemon tomorrow.]
Alright, kadan. [He places a kiss on Cyrl's brow.] I'll go slaughter a dragon as soon as I can.
[Cyril smiles despite himself and then leans fully against Taas. He doesn't have any more to say that he has to strength to put words to yet so instead he rests against Taas and enjoys the warmth and strength of his body.
He made it sound so easy, like going out to kill a dragon should be the simplest thing to do. But then saying the word 'love' and meaning it was supposed to be easy too, and Taas managed to do that while Cyril still fumbled and felt it catch in his throat.
He didn't have to think about any of that now, though, not with Taas there and alive and with him.]
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[There's another pause.]
Do you want one?
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Do I--?
[After a moment.] Would you want to do that?
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I...uh... sorry. I'm still new to this. I would happily give you one, if you wanted it.
[There's a pause, and he shakes his head. Awkward.]
I thought maybe you were asking because you wanted one. [Cough.]
It's just about your brother, then. I have really never heard anything bad about Metaari.
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[After a moment of thought and consideration. It takes him a bit to admit that he wants something emotional.]
Now I'm a little distracted by the thought of having my own from you. You said that you didn't think people still did that?
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[There's a pause.]
There are many versions of this story, but one version is about a pair of qunari who worked so well together that they could take down a dragon by themselves. When their duties changed, they split one of the dragon's teeth in two and wore that so that they were always together, no matter what. [He smiles a little bit.] Of course it was a grander story that that, but that's the gist of it.
It's the closest thing to a Qunari love token there is.
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[After a pause.] I teased Merrick by telling him he was basically Qunari married now, but I know that's not completely accurate. [He offers a smile there, trying to keep this conversation light.]
The thing is, neither Korrin or Metaari were raised under the Qun. They both had parents who left and formed a family. The idea of marriage and love aren't foreign to them.
It's different for you, isn't it?
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[Taas looks thoughtful, trying to figure out a good way to explain this. Even after seven years, some of the things outside of the Qun was still so alien to him.]
We hear a lot of strange things about the bas when we grow up under the Qun. We hear all about how love corrupts, how it makes you forget about everything else. Love can make you stray from your place in the world, and the selfishness of destroying the whole for just one person is boggling.
As for marriage... we were taught things like the surrealism of needing papers signed by Chantry like you're buying a horse. Stories of the strangeness of forced family units, about the greed for 'heirs', or pushing a child to be an image of you while wasting their resource and talent. Something so outlandish as unwanted children.
It makes it all sound like the bas are heartless.
[He pauses, shaking his head.]
I was a soldier, kadan. They don't educate us as well bout the bas as they do with people of the priesthood.
[Taas smiles again, looking at Cyril fondly.]
I know better now. I know there's happiness and kindness and love. I get how it all works. I just didn't imagine I would feel it? Or even how to?
Zevran explained some to me, and now I think I have a better idea of love. Being with you makes me happy, and seeing you happy makes me all warm inside. It's the kind of warmth that takes pain away... old memories, old scars. They mean nothing when I see you smile, wether it's after I fucked you silly or just a glance from far away.
That's all I need.
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He keeps that thought to himself, never once wanting to admit even a stray fantasy like that to someone he knows is still trying to find out who he is without the Qun. It's easy to look past that thought too, once Taas starts going in about his smile and how the warmth he feels when they're together helps him recover from old scars.
He moves closer, presses his body against Taas, encourages him to put an arm around his body, though he's careful to still look up so that Taas can see his lips. He isn't really able to get as sappy himself, not because he doesn't feel that strongly but because putting words to it hurts too much.]
I wouldn't mind a reminder of all of that. [He admits after a moment and it's the closest he can get to admitting the feels the same.] The Inquisition means that either of us could die or be sent away for a long time. [After all, Taas had just returned from a journey like that.] Thedas means that either of us could die at any moment.
If you end up with a dragon tooth you could even split it three ways and give one of the pieces to Zevran too.
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Taas still believes in a lot of the Qun's philosophies. There was no poverty under the Qun, there was classism. Everyone had a place. Everyone was valued. Yet despite all that, he would never wish them forced on his kadan.
Cyril needed his freedom.
Slipping his big arms around his lover, the big qunari him pulls closer when prompted. Watching those beautiful lips, he reads what is said and nods softly. He could agree with it, really. They could die at any moment.
The whole of Thedas could be swallowed up by a crazed darkspawn and his pet archdemon tomorrow.]
Alright, kadan. [He places a kiss on Cyrl's brow.] I'll go slaughter a dragon as soon as I can.
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He made it sound so easy, like going out to kill a dragon should be the simplest thing to do. But then saying the word 'love' and meaning it was supposed to be easy too, and Taas managed to do that while Cyril still fumbled and felt it catch in his throat.
He didn't have to think about any of that now, though, not with Taas there and alive and with him.]